XVII. Falling For Fall -
The air is cool and my hair is billowing about as I sit face-to-face with the Penn pendant - the gargantuan monument to Penn.
I remember now, why I wanted to come here - solely for the campus - it comes very close to fulfill…

XVII. Falling For Fall -

The air is cool and my hair is billowing about as I sit face-to-face with the Penn pendant - the gargantuan monument to Penn.

I remember now, why I wanted to come here - solely for the campus - it comes very close to fulfilling my childhood dream of jumping into a pile of multicolored leaves.

Fall Break is some days away.

Once it arrives,I’ll walk through the leaf-strewn campus to the train station where I will stare intently at the ceiling-bound board informing the duffel-swung college students, the briefcase bearing men and women in business-cazjh,  hands-intertwined mommy/daddy-and-me couples, and anxious-first-time train ticket-holders, of the train schedule.

I will not want to blink so that I can be first in line. I will no doubt be staring intently at the shutters flipping from “5 min”, to “boarding”, fighting the urge to go to Dunkin Donuts and get my coffee that they will inevitably make incorrectly - too dark and which will detract from my odds of being first in line.

Not knowing what my level of will power will be days from now and whether or not I will make multiple trips to Dunkin Donuts until my coffee is made well.

I only know that I will be met by a beautiful New York City morning in the fall - the air will be crisp and be laced ever so subtly with the warm and salty smell of pretzels, and if I’m lucky, roasted nuts - but that’s more characteristic of late November/early December.

I’ll see my dad’s car parked and we’ll stop at a nearby street cart. The proprietor of the cart, permitting that he is one of the Afghans situated near the station, upon seeing my dad will inevitably say, “Bhai-Jaan, what can I get for you?”

My dad will hand him 75 cents and I’ll have my perfectly made coffee in hand.

I’m smiling to myself now -

Almost home, I’ll see Halloween decorations in the windows of local shops.

Candy Corn will be a mandatory buy during the next supermarket trip.

I’m pretty sure every American experiences this fall-time foliage. Nothing compares to a Northeastern fall.

Fall brings out my maximum level of patriotism as an American.

Fall is midterm and assignment saturated.

Fall time is lattes and long nights in the library.

Fall time is cozy - cozy clothes and cozy candle smells- pumpkin spice, cinnamon, maple.

If an alien landed on Earth (typical teacher prompt to make students think about anything/everything), and didn’t know what Fall was, no worries. If it’s sometime between late September and late November, take the him/her, (do aliens have genders?),to Pier One - the smells, the colors, the ambiance, the shop = Fall.

Fall = Zen -

XVI. "I can scare the stupid out of you, but the lazy runs deep."

Oh, Gilmore Girls. When I heard Paris Geller make this remark, my first response was to pause the episode, sit in front of my laptop, and stare at the screen. I was contemplating the validity of this statement and if and how it applies to me at all.

All of this was happening during my allotted study-break time to be specifically spent watching this episode of Gilmore Girls.

Tick tock tick tock -

During the Ivy days of Penn college life, I noticed that I have become lazy. It seems to me now like the days during high school were optimal - as though I had reached some sort of self-actualized pique - as if I had gotten very close to perfection…

I used to force myself to do abdominal crunches, one hundred a day, while watching television- before I got dressed, and before I went to sleep.

I used to be able to study and daydreaming was kept to a minimum. I reserved those desires to daydream for the dreams that would occur during the sleep that would follow the completion of my homework.

That’s it!

I don’t really sleep hence I don’t really get to dream, hence my need to day-dream that in turn causes me to take a longer time to finish work, and therefore creates less of a chance for me to sleep.

You probably think I’m slow. I was slow to come to the conclusion that us college students are sleep-deprived. AS a result, we have become lazy.

Perhaps; Yet how does one explain the laziness that persists after months of not being on campus, and when you instead are once again living in the safe haven that is your beautiful home - where you, and I too, had thrived during high school?

I’m too sleep - derived and busy to mull over this question and so I move on….

I’m sitting in front of my laptop screen, ten minutes left until my study-break is over and I have to recommence reading the hundreds of pages, single spaced, and in a font-size of ten (or less), for each class where the professor is under the false impression that we are taking just his/her class - that his/her class is the sole color blocked out on our schedules.

Those teachers rounds out to about…. one for each of my five classes. These fools think that there is only one yucky pastel green, yellow,or pink block of time, multiple times a week, that ordains our schedules (Reference the figure below.)

Many a time I had begun to think I was stupid. Was I not reading quick enough? How do you pass an exam if you don’t read everything? What if I miss something important while skimming? What is happening?

You must be stupid.

No. No, I’m pretty sure I, you, us - - we’re not stupid.

We clawed our way from pre-school to twelfth freaken grade to get into <Insert Name> University.

We knew we had failed once in a while - (Failed ourselves mostly; Not so much an actual exam otherwise we wouldn’t be this pensive about the possibility of being stupid and/or lazy while in college.)

But we also were keenly aware of how our resume and transcript were shaping up.

We knew that at times we created magic at that desk of ours, in our room, dangerously close to a comfy bed and falling asleep. And yet, we never fell asleep.

In contrast, the desk in our dorm rooms next to the bed is just that - a desk, (unused), next to a bed (used instead of being unused while we’re studying.)

Stupidity and Laziness does not explain why we cannot finish our work to such an extent that we do not have to have the syllabi for all our classes plastered to our forehead so we can start on the next assignment. Why can we not have that time after completing the readings for Tuesday to revel in happiness, before thinking about the readings for another class that meets on Wednesday?

Answer: We have to go back to the Tuesday class, because it also meets on Thursday, and so we have to read once more Wednesday night, for the Tuesday class that also meets on Thursday aka the next day.

Why can’t we get the opportunity to read for class the next day instead of reading for the class that met last week?

The answer: TIME.

This study - break allotted time went way over… time.

Time is like nature - it can’t be managed.

Still we can’t help but be gracious that we can say that we have time - that we had a past full of memories and experiences. We have a present that is stressful, but we also have a future - why? Well, because time is ahead of us and keeps moving and our present keep changing.

In conclusion, go with the flow homies - it’s all good yo -

Yaya for Gilmore Girls words of wisdom!

Holler at your homefry -

XV. Au Natural -
(Because you guys are way too freaken talented and can read backwards -)
When you walk into CVS or any local pharmacy supplier, there is a  good chance that you will encounter a myriad of organic products.  Similar to organic food, …

XV. Au Natural -

(Because you guys are way too freaken talented and can read backwards -)

When you walk into CVS or any local pharmacy supplier, there is a good chance that you will encounter a myriad of organic products. Similar to organic food, organic body products, are also overpriced, have been aliquot in small quantities, and packaged in a manner that seems almost haute-couture compared to the tacky bright/shiny acid green packaging of Garnier Fructis or the hauty bright red Old Spice deodorant (hopefully guys can relate to this more than Garnier.)

I increasingly find myself being paranoid when it comes to chemicals, mostly because of the International Union of Pure and Applied Chemistry’s (IUPAC) rules for naming the chemical compounds and molecules.

Legit, yo -

See, I’m not ignorant as to the significance of the chemical names and the large amount of chaos that it prevents as a result. The fact that there are rigid rules for naming these chemicals, enough to get you a good twenty-five points off your first organic chemistry exam, however, is reason enough to cause me to be intimidated by said chemical names.

Humans - whether we are the boons to the universe given by your choice of divine authority, or the product of sin, and/or are the remnants of monkeys - we are and have always been, the essence of all that is natural.

If not for societal restrictions, we’d be running around fulfilling our natural tendencies, which according to the high-school English assigned novel, The Lord of the Flies - includes us putting heads of pigs on pikes and carrying out the necessary burdensome tasks for our survival, (such as preparing food for consummation), only after we have done whatever we want to do for fun first.

Even in high school we are forced into being made cognizant of the interchangeability between the words “natural” and “human.”

Cell - Tissue - Bone - Eye - Nose- Arm - Leg - Neck - Plasma - Vessel -

Us humans function as a working assembly of one and two-syllable terms that are linguistically user-friendly - In sharp contrast ot the likes of chemical names such as, phthalates.

Phthalates…Four consecutive consonants - - really?

As topics of the natural tendencies/capabilities we possess as humans have become less taboo and more transparent to me in the process of growing up to my current twenty-one year old self, I now do not go straight to the same product I have been purchasing. I no longer pass the fancy intricate artwork seemingly hand-painted on that $10.99 4 Fl. Oz Moroccan Argan Hair Oil bottle.

I have resorted to buying the organic product, even if it means spending slightly more. Perhaps it is because of my time at the lab bench - a good amount of years that transcended adolescence and permeated the years marking my college-adulthood - whatever that means. Working in a lab made me so paranoid as to question if I was taking every necessary safety precaution in order not to develop some sort of malign illness - those skull and bones all over the lab no doubt have haunted us science research folk at one point or another.

After this summer in lab, however, I grew even more paranoid - who knew that was possible? It is probably because for almost every procedure I had to carry out, one of the scientists would chime in - “Remember - so-and-so is very, very toxic. Be careful!”

Suddenly being 21 doesn’t seem all that swell and dandy when no one takes responsibility for you anymore.

One day in particular I smelled something unusual. Without thinking I placed an unlabeled Falcon tube, filled with solution, up to my nostrils. Next thing I knew I felt a rush of air going in though my nostrils. Yes, I had inhaled. I inhaled a strong, rancid odor.

Sensitive to smells of all kind and alarmed to a degree surpassing the alarm that I feel after I have inhaled nail polish remover, I notified one of the scientists of my horrible lack of discipline- giving into my natural tendency of curiosity.

In his broken English, (expected - internationals invading all U.S. labs), I managed to parse out the following:

“I hope you didn’t inhale that! It’s Toxic…”

As a result, all summer, every single day, I scrubbed my hands until they looked like the hands of a seventy-year old women who had given birth to well over three children and who was also, quite possibly, on dialysis.

After that traumatic experience I now own olive, cactus, and almond hair oils, (yes I do have crazy curly hair), organic contact solution, organic dish-washing soap organic/Ayurvedic eyeliner, and organic face wash shampoos, and conditioners.

I’m not saying splurge and buy the $30 and up bottles. If the product is even $5 more than the brand you usually purchase- get it. Trust when I say that the natural route guarantees a peace of mind and those organic goods that emanate hippie vibes are well worth the investment.

Here is to #notbeingtheavergageAmerican = not being so filled with preservatives that you are the equivalent to a microwaveable meal and possessing skin that can glow in the dark from excessive cheeto-esque snacking.

Holler at your homefry -

XIV. Paging Dr. Pet - Peeves -

Urban dictionary defines pet-peeves as “things that people do that make you want to punch your eyes out.” I’m pretty sure that we can all attest to the accuracy of this definition written by the layman who had an unhealthy desire to be published.

(The exception to the people who agreed with this definition are probably those same hippies who cringe when you use the word “hate” nonchalantly in any conversation because they think it is too severe a word. These are the same people whose parents needed to use self-help books on the subject of parenting.)

I am one of those people who utilizes the verb “to hate” frequently in my daily course of speaking and even thinking. Consequently, one of my pet-peeves. [Pet-Peeve 1:]-  is when the other person(s) partaking in the conversation decides to  intervene in their untimely fashion and state that they never use the word “hate.”

Most people mistake this habit of mine for pessimism or possessing some sort of negative energy.

They would be false -

I am sure there are others like me out there, who do not relate to the stick figure who falls into a 2-D hole before taking a happy pill in an Astra Zeneca commercial, and who also have friends/acquaintances who expect them to complain and/or vent.

It seems as though our lives revolve around the actions of others - our pet-peeves. That may technically be true. However, us non-self proclaimed “haters”, actually have selfish underlying reasons for our non-hippy/realist way of life.

For we have been endowed with the legacy of Darwin. We are the survival of the fittest.

How?

We choose to surround ourselves by non-bothersome things and/or people so that we have created our own perfect world. Yes, those who you call negative are actually perfectionists of sorts.

Pet-Peeve Two: We do not care for the the victims of suck-up seizures.

Those affected by this condition will experience the violent wagging of their tongue - spluttering out desperate cries for participation points. Their eyes will roll in the back of their sockets as they nod their head viciously - up down, up down, up down - hands trembling in the need to write down nondescript notes in the heat of it all, and all the while being fully aware that they will either rip out said notes or simply ignore them when studying for an exam that they will, annoyingly, non-deservingly (that’s right, I said it), ace, even after going out to the Facebook publicized frat - themed party.

Cheers to you homie - artificiality won’t be a boon forever and if you still don’t care about the all-too-common lecture about the consequences of your actions, just know that there is a population of perfectionists who hate you.

Pet-Peeve Three: Staring.

Pet-Peeve Four: Walking dow the sidewalk by yourself, without a blue tooth on, and giggling and/or smiling to the extent of showing teeth.

It’s just a matter of discpline… that and when you’re laughing/smiling to yourself, there seems to be an evil ulterior motive.

Pet-Peeve Five: Kissing on both cheeks in the main library on campus- and no they’re not Muslim so culture is not an explanation- who are you people? (Probably international students.)

Yes, that last pet-peeve just occured right before my very eyes and no, I was not staring; They were in my peripheral vision.

In the selfish interest of not getting so annoyed as to not get any work done, (like a true “hater”), I will refrain from listing more pet-peeves. 

Pet-Peeve Six: There goes another awkward acquaintance - mutual 2-second staring.

And so the semester begins…

XIII. An Hour a Day Keeps the Regrets Away -

Mandatory track in high school instilled in me great anxiety.

There on the track in Flushing, Queens, we all looked out onto the horizon that was the New York City skyline and waited for the teacher to blow the whistle that would signal us to run. We had to run until we didn’t fail.

If you didn’t finish running 3 miles in 24 minutes or less, you failed.

The worst part of running track was waiting for that whistle. The beginning would inevitably be horrid, but whatever came after, regardless of that panic-stricken anxiety, was better. Yes, walking up twelve flights of stairs to my next class, before the late bell, after running the 3 miles, was better than standing in that huddle outside.

This scenario is the exception to life.

The beginning of the day, the time you wake up from slumber, lays out how the rest of your day will be.

I usually do not eat breakfast, but something tells me that regardless of whether I do or not, it will not matter.

That is to say, eating breakfast last week would not have prevented my pants from ripping straight down the middle during class.

Eating breakfast this morning would not have prevented me from changing into three different outfits before settling on a completely uncomfortable and slightly tacky outfit because I was running late for a class. (Although, upon retrospection, perhaps eating something would affect the health of my hair and would then have prevented me from wasting time trying to manipulate my dry hair into something not resembling an afro.)

Two days ago I did not eat breakfast but my day was running smoothly because I made the trek to the library and completed pending work so that I was slightly less behind. With that incredibly productive start to the day even after leaving la biblioteca, I managed to do some more work before the day came to an end.

The next day a similar scenario happened. I did my weekly roommate task of cleaning the rust/mold, hair, and extraneous I-don’t -want-to-know-what-that-is that litters the bathroom. I then cleaned my room before a three hour meeting.  Afterwards I did the laundry, after which the day came to an end. Success -

Tis’ life and such tasks need to get done sooner rather than later.

(Why yes, I am concentrating in disease and have seen the repercussions of dirt + human orifices.)

I’m sure you all know those days of accomplishment when you can’t help but call up your mom and casually list off whatever you have done. The acknowledgment, “you done good”, just makes your day all the more better.

After these past couple of weeks of me being back on campus, I have come to the conclusion that the first hour after you wake up is a microcosm of the twenty-four hours that follow. Whatever occurs within that hour will determine the rest of the day.

How do you ensure that the first hour after you have woken up is optimal?

Planning seems to be the only answer.

Deciding what you will wear the night before, actually getting out of bed when your alarm goes off, not attempting to change your face no matter how hard you squint into the mirror and will yourself to look like insert name here, have enough time to walk to class, participate at least once (if it’s not lecture), and - 

60 minutes have passed. The fateful hour is up. You can now live your day to the optimal standards.

But for now, as I sit and type this, I know that my day is almost over and all I have are regrets with the exception of this soon-to-be-published post.

Here’s to a new day.

More specifically, tomorrow….because God help me if I don’t get stuff done there will be no fateful one hour after waking up - there will be no waking up because there will be no sleep and so the vicious cycle of sleep deprivation will ensue.

And what is worst - since you won’t have anything to be acknowledged for, there will be no calls to mom and who doesn’t want their mommy?

XII. Let the Ring Finger be Immersed...

in the carbon black kohl.

Let said finger rest in the middle between the thumb and middle fingers.

Let that blackened finger-tip gently touch the side of your face.

Do not give me your mechanisms for staying positive and enduring whatever may come.

This is life - This is my life and I keep chardi kala.

Yes, I am positive. I am positive because I am not superstitious.

I am resilient.

I do not trust none.

I only trust one.

That one is all I need and I have everything because of that one.

Let the ring finger be adorned.

Let the finger-tip be cleaned of kohl.

Let the clean finger embrace the world that is at its tip- no longer blackened…

no longer held captive by the need to explain what was given so graciously.

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XI. The Desk - Where the Magic Happens

At home my desk was the magical abode. Inside my cotton-candy pink (actual color), painted room, I resided in my intellectual safe haven; Shutting the door behind me, tuning out everything else with my loud desktop speakers, joining Facebook for the first time, and getting to work on essays, projects, lab reports.

The desk was my place of contemplation, thinking and discovery.

The desk was where the magic happened.

Once high school was over, the desk at home remained and with it, the magic also remained. However, it was a new kind of magic -bad magic.

The desk is now the epicenter from which magical bad vibe waves emanate. The desktop computer runs at a speed that is 10X slower than my laptop. When you step into the wave area your reflex is to back away slowly, as your are still in denial about how you’re breaking up with the desk that brought you an accumulated decade’s worth of  lauded writing and a college education, has changed. With college came the inevitable long-distance relationship status and nothing was ever the same.

Thinking suddenly becomes a localized chore that the desk forces upon you.

However, long-distance is not to blame. The dorm room desk wields the same onerous wave-power.

Pattern: Desks that are in a permanent living space and near a bed  = la magica no ocurre aqui.

And so I keep moving. I move to a desk outside the permanency of a living space: the classroom or the library.

The first week of classes has arrived and everyone knows that once you have sat down somewhere in the lecture hall or room, you remain there for the entire semester lest you covet death stares.

I am one of those people who don’t mind the death stares. (Probably because my death stare is infinitely better than 99% of others- years of pessimism does that to you.) Sometimes I like to change it up. Maybe one day I missed the reading and want to sit towards the back or maybe one day I enjoyed an assignment so much that I want to be noticed for the work I put in and sit in the front. Maybe I just wanted to tick someone off - if good reason warrants it.

I don’t act on emotions which may partially explain why dwelling in a middle ground has never been a specialty of mine.

The worst desk shift, that even ticks me off, experienced death starer that I am, is during lecture. It is those groups of more than three people that must sit with each other at all costs each and every time the class meets. And so, when one of the groupies does move, effectively, an entire row has been shifted and the whole silently understood seating arrangement becomes equivalent to a rushed and messy eyesore of a game of Tetris.   (Retreived from "justinthemiddle" blog.)

(Image retrieved from “justinthemiddle” blog.)

Still, the classroom seating arrangements are temporary. If you really want to change it up to your liking, you can do so the next day. (I suggest making it your priority to arrive a little earlier.) People may make snide comments in hushed tones and you could either ignore them or confront them, but either way, you do not have to undo what has been intentionally done because there is no written law, (assuming you’re in the U.S).

Studying space, as in the library, is the real cause for concern. Studying lasts a much longer time than a class period does and you cannot change it up because anyone, classmate or not, can come at their own time and according to their own schedule. You do not know when other people will choose to arrive in your study area, and may potentially have access to your study desk, because they’re not all in the same class as you as they were in the prior context.

A desk that you have found in the library- the place where you can study for hours on end, is hard to find. In this spot everything is perfect: there is enough noise to keep you from falling asleep but not so much to cause you to become a psychic because you can successfully predict the eminent failing of an exam in the near future, the light is not too bright  to give you a headache but not so dark that you get a headache because your only light source is from the monitor, the A/C and heat are well-regulated, and there is no funky smell so long as some non-regular who refuses to use deodorant does not waltz his/her way into your save haven. (When said person does exist, you will most likely disown your study desk.)

Now someone is sitting in your spot. You decide to wait until it frees up despite the fact that you’re taking away from your allotted studying time. Walking is good. You can exercise in the meantime - take a short walk.

You come back.

He/she is still there or has inconsiderately left his/her possessions, all the while being blessed because nothing has been stolen, and doesn’t come back - or comes back after you have decided to leave.

Maybe you don’t leave and attempt to find another desk.

You cannot focus at this new and what seems to be an outcast desk, (since no one else was vying for it.) Time to leave.

I have guarded my study spot pretty well over the past few years. The regulars kind of set everything in order, similar to the classroom scenario. Those awkward acquaintances got yo’ back after all.

Conclusion: Thinking on your feet is no longer the acquired skill that comes with practice. It is no longer the fleeting and quick idea developed in less than thirty seconds.

Thinking on your feet  = Any thinking that will ever occur. No more desk in your room being the only place where your genius can emerge.

Here’s to being the forever mobile thinker - A Transcendentalism of the twenty- first century. No more hiding out away in a log cabin…

or high rise apartment dorm room.

X. September and I'm Shuffelin -

It is September first.

On this day, each year since I was in the first grade, my state of being has always been equivalent to the third trimester of a pregnant female.

That is to say, the beginning of the month of September has always caused great hormonal/bodily conflict to my biology.

Like most people who enjoy the academic part of school, (to an extent), symptoms would start to surface: Mood swings would be reflected in conversation, suddenly one’s walk would be akin to a bird’s fleeting and fluttering gait, and  one then feels the ever-proliferating pangs of hunger for school supplies at all times of the night -

It’s 12:30 AM and Staples is closed. I just need index cards so I can set up my new flashcard system. Yes- it’s perfect! As I write down the term, I’ll learn it, and it’ll be transportable too- But Staples is closed….I think I’ll roam the back-to-school section catering to the middle school crowd in the 24-hour CVS just to settle my mind - they have index cards…

Us students have an adrenaline rush, a spasmodic beating of the heart (though not so spasmodic that we collapse from cardiac arrest).

That is not to say that adrenaline rushes cannot be harmful. However, regardless of the context in which adrenaline is used, a majority of the cases suggest that if you’re in possession of a high amount of it, a beneficial outcome will inevitably result.

Example of a beneficial outcome: You know that story about the anorexic-looking mom who lifted a car with her finger to save her baby, don’t you?

Hyperbole is another symptom of September’s arrival.

My hyperbolic anecdote about the mom, the car, and the baby was the remnant of my recently treated September-student-generated-adrenaline-rush (SSGARSS) syndrome.

(** More on my method of treatment in the fourth section down.)

However, the SSGARSS is not as posh of an entity as it appears.

You’re traveling on a concave down-parabolic path. You’re on a high, and then, you crash. Your blood sugar levels spike and fall. You’re fatigued and continue to try and find reason for this self-hazardous state until you have met your threshold and carry out the mode of treatment, custom-fit for yourself that sets everything straight once more.

You gradually become balanced - you have found your zen.

** What’s my SSGARS mode of treatment?: I iron all the clothing that I own. Every blouse, shirt, pant, short, skirt, dress, will be ironed and folded to complete perfection. Every crease is made according to y = mx + b linearity - NO EXCEPTIONS. I then proceed to place said clothing according to piles into my suitcase while noting the possible outfits choices: combinations of clothing and shoes will be set for the first week of classes. Afterwards, I make my own dorm decor - remember that need to be unique?

My gait becomes more calm, my heartbeat more level, and my zen slowly arrives.

After the zen has slowly been acquired, and the college traveler has settled in his/her dorm/off-campus apt., (hey there - you’re still in college, get an apt. when you graduate), you’re now ready for class.

The handwriting is exquisitely uniform against the crisp new paper, your posture is straight, your head perched ever so slightly such that your chin protrudes to a height below arrogance but above apathy, and your eye-level is shifted between the upper-half of the professor’s body and the ceiling of the lecture hall.

You’re ready to learn.

Soon, your handwriting will be rushed, non-uniform, and frantic-looking. You will probably try to fend off the unconsciousness need to slouch - shoulders burdened by the midterms/papers that are approaching.

It’s all good though. All you have to do is flip back to September’s notes and remember your enthusiasm.

Don’t regret your current condition though - Do not wish to be that eager student again because it’s unrealistic.

Just know that you are motivated and that your slouch and your ugly notes are a testament to your knowledge.

Happy September homefries!

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IX. “I’m living in the 21st Century… Doin’ something mean to it…”            AKA Being Technologically - Impaired and Yes, I ’m sorry -

Are you that person who owns all or most of the new and available technology, I.e. A Kindle, an IPad, a laptop, a camera, a smart phone, or something that has all of that in one single gadget?

Are you that person who instinctively knows how to use the stated above?

Do you get giddy when you’re about to step into Best Buy?

Do you take notes on your laptop?

Are you an ITA on your campus?

If you have answered “yes” to more than one of the questions above, you are an authority endowed with the gift of technological savvy and I am but your grasshopper.

“Why my grasshopper?”, you ask -

Reply: My answer to all of those questions was “No.”

I feel like I just failed an exam.

Probably because when you say “no” you’re essentially prohibiting the gaining of something. Thus, some kind of net loss results. In other words, my answers, when added up into a numerical value, would equal zero.

I am not one of those promoters of regression. I don’t want to go back to a time where homes were kept unlocked and the concept of personal space was unheard of.

I’m a 21st century, aspiring medical professional who has cried her eyes out when her computer crashed (on more than one occasion), and with her stress-causing-paranoia cannot imagine life without a phone - “what if there’s an emergency?”

And so I took the plunge and invested in a camera. So that I can be technologically savvy by researching the camera I want according to budget, style, and power - all on my own.

I invested in a violet Nikon Coolpix S6100 and was excited to open up the box I got hours before, even after coming home from a family-friend party the next day at 1 AM and as a result, having a headache because I was pensive and contemplating my social awkwardness. (In full disclosure, superficiality was rampant in that get-together and so I’m not to blame.) My excitement quickly dissipated and was reincarnated into defeat as I was stumped as to which way I had to put the battery in - step two of the starter guide, I believe.

(I also invested in a camera because the family digital SONY mysteriously went missing and since my graduation is in May (woot woot), I thought a camera would be needed in the near future.)

However, probably the most important reason for buying this camera was because I was so over my disconnect from technology - having a fairly new Blackberry which I can only use to text and make a call, not knowing how to or where to download music from, deleting my entire ITunes music library unintentionally after getting my cousin to download songs for me, not knowing how to use a DVR, and being confused as to what Google Chrome and Google Plus are.

I wanted to, like any aspiring physician, remedy the fracture.

I wanted to put a band-aid on the disconnect between me and technology.

I wanted technology and I to be more than just united as two entities; I wanted me and technology to be meshed; Just as the new skin forms against the old skin until you peel off the band-aid and can no longer distinguish between the old and the new.

I’m living in the 21st Century. The binary code should be the corollary to the alphabet for my entire generation.

Like I mentioned before, I do not travel. However, looking at the hundreds of photos my friends/acquaintances have taken, I decided I did not want to live vicariously through them anymore. I didn’t want to look through their Facebook albums and think that I was not doing enough, when in fact I am doing more than enough.

I was capable of using technology too!

Living in New York City and being an avid walker, I am pretty sure that I have come across an immense amount of photo-worthy encounters that have made me think that life was stress-free and just one happy exploration of my surroundings at some point or the other.

I just haven’t had a camera to document those occurrences.

But now I do and I am on my way to technological abandon…

Holler at yo’ homefry -

VIII. Mythical Adulthood

“Mommy WOW! I’m a big kid now!”

We all, (all as in those who grew up in the United States), have seen the commercial where little legs of baby fat scamper to a nearby toilet from which their legs then dangle. Right at the last moments of the climatic flushing noise, (which I used to find frightening), the tall and lean, young and pretty mommy arrives, giggling. The child than pulls up his/her own diaper and in the background rings the exclamatory jingle that I have quoted above.

Growing up has always been associated, if not defined, by increasing independence, similar to using the toilet on your own.

I have some issues with this all-encompassing independence that is cited as being characteristic of the “real-world” - anything that exists outside of the campus bubble.

To all of you I say… bullocks.

I know that I am not the most independent person. I don’t drive, I don’t cook my own meals, I have never had a paying job, I don’t do the laundry at home (I honestly would if not for its particular location in my house. Let’s just say this pet peeve is similar to the scary flushing noise pet peeve I had when I was a kid).

Independence in certain cultures varies.

In Indian families, everyone should be living under one roof by default. Maybe the whole extended family living together  bit just rings true for Punjabi families.

The only time you will see an unmarried child, or married in some cases, leave a house is if:

1. He/she committed some ungodly criminal act of blasphemous proportions and is disowned by the parents. (Refer to Sharukh Khan’s character in Khabhie Kushi Khabie Gham.)

2. He/she committed the same type of criminal act, is not kicked out but is instead constantly scrutinized and emotionally blackmailed, and thereby decides to leave on his/her own.

3. The child must separate from the family in order to further his/her own education, career, or pursue a love interest that is wholeheartedly approved of by the parents. *The reason listed last is more common in Hindi films than in life.*

Validation:       http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMJvXJyfiMQ

Also, the very institution of marriage, arguably an expectation of adulthood, is a completely antithetical idea to the concept of independence.

Since when did being inconsiderate become a form of disciplining someone into growing up?

Why must we reach some arbitrary threshold of independence to be respected for the adults that we have become?

I now completely see the need to move on - not to think about home when I’m away from it and see the past because quite frankly, that no longer exists.

Life is a lot more interesting now than it could have ever been before. I just need to exploit the interest without falling into the above two categories… or suffering from a stress-induced aneurism and/or nervous breakdown.

Here’s to trying -

VIIA. Science Vs. Fashion
I just finished reading this novel this morning. I decided to read it because it was my type of book.
Formula:  Published within the last 10 years + not a classic + not read by a  large population + highly acclaimed by reli…

VIIA. Science Vs. Fashion

I just finished reading this novel this morning. I decided to read it because it was my type of book.

Formula: Published within the last 10 years + not a classic + not read by a large population + highly acclaimed by reliable sources + significant to my life (varies) = Reshmi’s type of book.

The writing is  unlike anything else I have ever read. The intelligence of the book can only be communicated via its extreme simplicity. To do otherwise would cause the reader to be lost in translation - the profundity is just that deep.

Despite the transparency of the English language, the totality of the narrative is anything but effortless - it is a wonderfully crafted use of the English language. Writing, in my opinion, is a craft, and if it does come off as effortless, it probably is not worth reading.

Anyway - that was my short introduction of this book. I am not writing a book review or summary but instead want to discuss a thought presented by the writer that also happens to be a prevalent point of contemplation in the daily happenings of my life and most probably in the lives of others as well.

DISCUSSION:

“But that’s science: it isn’t enough to just think a thing, you must try to verify if it’s true. Otherwise people would say and think what they like… fashionable people… who liked thinking, and especially talking, but who hated verifying.” (137)

I do realize that some of you will argue that “fashionable” is being used as an adjective that can be made synonymous to “popular” and/or “in trend.” Those of you who are arguing this may (or may not) make this distinct from my use of “fashion” in the context of my last blog post. However, “fashion” is only a single word that may be used in a distinct fashion , (yes that was intentional), from time to time, but still means the same thing each and every time one traces the derivation starting from how it is being used…

Otherwise, linguists would have made a new word. Imagine having two streets with the same name in the same town - confusion would persist and society as we know it would be non-existent so that our definition of a modern-day Renaissance Fair would no longer be a staged role-playing diversion that occurs in the abandoned parking lots of suburbia, but instead would be a true rendering of daily life.

And so, this quotation reads such that fashion and science are conflicting entities that cannot coexist.

I’m sure you already know that I disagree with this proclamation.

Fashion is an idea that is closely associated with females. Why? Society recognizes and accepts the blank canvas that is a woman. Women can paint their nails, have they’re ears pierced, wear skirts and dresses, have hairstyles where they can have long hair and bangs framing their face, wear jewelry regularly, carry around different types of purses, etc. (While men could do all that was described, doing so would be going against all that is considered natural, accepted, and in the overwhelming majority.)

Working in a lab since I was sixteen, my first P.I. (Principal Investigator aka Head Scientist), was a female. She was tall, lean, had her hair parted down the middle and nonchalantly covering her shoulders, and made everyone shiver at the slightest news of her arrival in their midst. Her presence, curriculum vitiae, leadership, and frankness to the point of being harsh, was unlike that of any other female I had come across before, (with the exception of Hilary Clinton who I only saw on the news.)

A year ago I decided to practice my laboratory pursuits in a new place - across the street at Weill Cornell. I was the undergraduate intern, there were two medical students, and a technician - all of us females. My new P.I. was the only male.

A couple of months ago I decided to research at yet another lab. Here, me, the technician, and one of the only two post-docs were female. The P.I. was also female. (There was one male.) The P.I. and I seemed to share a love for fashion, silently accepting that we were mutually sizing up one another’s outfit of the day as we greeted each other. I was in awe of her; A brain cancer head scientist at a leading lab, a mother, a globetrotter, and a trendsetter all at once.

Since being a part of the science scene, I have been confused by the male:female ratio that I saw because it conflicted with the ratio that I had heard. Having seen mostly women in the field of science which was long claimed to be the “all boy’s club”, seemed to me like witnessing a modern-day women’s movement.

And yet, all of the women I have come across have not been akin to those nominated on TLC’s sitcom, What Not to Wear. In sharp contrast, these women of science, physicians and scientists alike, were all fashionable and aware of their sense of fashion no less.

I have met the classicists - the women who wear sophisticated dresses with the perfect bolero, pearl studs and necklace, and the most dainty of shoes, (closed toe of course- keeping with lab protocol.)

I have also seen the modernists. Those women, most tend to be on the younger side,  keep up with the going-on of the runways and what’s more, can afford to splurge on these fresh off the runway items.

There is also the androgynous power woman look: ideally tailored suits and collared shirts with her choice of loafer or oxford.

Though in the minority, I have also seen the urban-chic/Greenwich village-esque/laid-back Soho look - perfectly professionalized with the naturally tousled hair cascading over exposed arms, or the once exposed arms that are now covered by a white coat.

Last time I checked science-oriented peeps like to think and talk  just as much as they like to verify, probably because:

THINKING + TALKING –> VERIFICATION.

Nice try Mr. Lelord -

VII. "Fashion is not about utility..." - The Devil Wears Prada

Thirteen stores later and I finally have in my possession, the September 2011 issue of Vogue.

*Woot woot*

Woot - exclamation, informal (especially in electronic communication) used to express elation, enthusiasm, or triumph:”

                                                           (Oxford English dictionary - Online)


I am probably the last person to spend money on - well, pretty much anything. However, this particular issue of Vogue is a worthwhile investment; Yes, $4.99 for a magazine is an investment.

This year it is 758 pages of beautifully inspired Fall fashion - a production of amazing pictures of designers’ brainchild on models who have mastered the art of their body and possess the knowledge of how every muscle of their biology flexes, and who with the direction of the skilled photographer, move amongst the backdrop of well-researched locations where locals’ lives are lived, but for that moment simultaneously act as the medium by which the designer’s point of view is communicated to the potential consumer/admirer all over the world.

Within these 758 pages are also short and well-written blurbs that I collect on occasion, laminate, and then use as dorm decor.

I am currently on page 500.

Fashion is an amazing and for the most part, an ethereal experience.

* Note: I am about to disclose a facet of my personality that no one besides my parents and my brother know, mainly because, like most family members, they will not judge, not only because we share blood but because the reasons behind this trait are well-grounded.*

I won’t step into a large shoe store claiming to carry a myriad of different shoe designers without cringing. I make enough moaning/whining noises until I force my parents to leave out of annoyance.

I hate walking into wholesale shops like Costco.

I absolutely detest the idea of buying clothes from a place where you can buy food, diapers, and garbage cans - I.e. Target, K-Mart. In the same vein, I cannot imagine buying  clothing from a place in which you can also buy a lawn mower - I.e. Sears.

I think Mayor Bloomberg is awesome - mostly because he outlawed all Wal-Marts in the five boroughs of New York City a couple of years back.

God bless that man.

As a complex human though, I refuse to spend twenty dollars or more on a blouse.

You have to understand  - all of my new wardrobe (from the past ten months), is under forty dollars/ piece. The most expensive article of clothing I own, (besides winter coats/jewelry/shoes, if that counts/ and purses), is a Free People dress which was a pretty good price all things considered. I am the ultimate Sale shopper. No joke. I walk into a store and walk straight to the marked down sale section. I give myself a limit before I enter a store - I know the lowest Urban Outfitters goes is around $10 so I tell myself, “You can only buy something that is $9.99 max.”

Homies, I bought a gap black blazer for $15, shorts for $8.99, a sweater for $11, and tights for 0.97 cents (all from the GAP), over a two - month period. Buying quality clothes is possible so long as you wait for a sale. (* Cited from years of shopping with one of the most stylish people I know, my mom- do not tell her I said that because… because - it sounds way too suburban. There, I said it -)

But, I think there is a level of integrity that one must have when it comes to clothes for two main reasons:

1. To pay respect to the designer who put effort, thought, and themselves into the garment itself, and

2. To respect yourself enough to know that the clothing you wear is a representation of yourself to the world and is also a way for you to be in control of yourself - to dress according to how you feel or according to how you want to feel.

Fashion is an amazing experience because it is practical.

Fashion is minimalism - simplicity in terms of cohesiveness is essential.

Fashion is New York, and I’m just living in it.

VI. The Senior Sensation -

Do you know that feeling of restlessness that you get when you begin freshman year in high school, or even in college?

I remember looking down at the ID hanging around my neck seeing my graduating/ class year in freshman year and thinking- “Oh my God. That is four years from now…”

It’s the same feeling of desperation that forces you to heave a long, eye-roll inducing sigh.

That ID scenario is equivalent to the sum of the four bearable and coveted individual years of high school/college, (in other words, one large horrid uphill battle without a single day off), that just hits you directly in the face.

But then this restlessness fades.

Enter the Senior Sensation -

Senior year rolls around and you decide that this place of drudgery, caffeine, and eye-candy has actually been a sanctuary that you can call your own.

You have cried here, laughed here, had academic triumphs and not-so-worthy work handed in after not sleeping for over 48 hours, thought you had a moment with someone who you would see spontaneously over the course of the term-smiling inside at the kismat, and then not see him at all the next term, and went from running to your dorm whenever you had to use the bathroom in freshman year to knowing where every single bathroom is located on campus.

Suddenly you’re comfortable with this place despite it working against every facet of your being - *that may just be my case.

Today, I went to an informal information session and small tour of Columbia University. Might as well see all of New York as a New Yorker. *Note - I hate the concept of touring selective universities- why tour if you have not been admitted yet? Why do you pre-determine your place somewhere without reason? It’s arrogance is what it is! – My immediate family and I have always thought a level of humility of this sort was necessary to uphold.

A New Yorker above all else, I was surprised with what happened next. As I walked through the iron gate that said “Columbia University”, I felt myself stiffen up - more than usual that is.

Suddenly, without being consciously aware of it, I thought to myself, “Dude- Penn is so much better than this! Our campus is way more beautiful, collegiate, and Ivy League-ish.”

Woah- Was that loyalty or me just being competitive?

It was definitely loyalty…and pride, and me just defending my kind. I know this because I feel the same adrenaline rush when I talk about Sikhism or India or New York.

I held my head up high, my posture straight, walked assertively in my four inch platform heel on the cobble-stoned uneven path that characterizes the Ivy League, and all the while hoped that I would not fall on my face.

With my proud persona preceding me, the tour began and so did the unwelcoming introductions.

“Hi, my name is Reshmi Oberoi. I’m a senior at the University of Pennsylvania and am majoring in Health & Societies.”

*Blank Stares.* What is “Health & Society?”

Expected-

The tour guide then pointed behind me and a female voice said, “I too am a senior at UPenn and am majoring in Health & Societies.”

*Nervous laughs*

I suddenly felt myself shedding the stuffy persona of a visitor at a rival Ivy. I swiveled around and met her with a smile, a wave, and an awkward “Hiiii”, in true Reshmi-style.

A fellow UPenn-er! I now had back-up, yo.

Turns out she just declared her major and so our class schedules didn’t coincide, hence we had not met until then.

As we were conversing in between the tour and Columbia’s sorry excuse for historical anecdotes (find the owl on that statue!-), that Upenn seems to have no end of, (the tampons, the ben franklin statue on college green and the infamous button, the urine bench, etc),

I told her: “I’m actually looking forward to going back [to Penn].”

She responded: “Oh, I ’m always ready to go to Philly!”

My response: “ No, you don’t understand. I never want to go to back to Penn, but I actually [pause] - I want to - [pause] -”

Tour guide: “Ok, now we’re in front of the Uris building - it’s shaped like a toilet. It’s constantly ranked as the top business school in the world.”

In my head: “HELLO? Remember WHARTON?”

Oh Senior Sensation. You are a troublemaker like no other -

V. Dissatisfaction: Boon vs. Burden - A Thought Experiment.

I have never been satisfied with anything.

I always thought this was, and still do think, that this is a good quality to have.

To be dissatisfied always means that you never want to settle. You always want to move incrementally from goal to goal - a perfection of sorts.

Most people see this as detrimental, including my parents, but I don’t.

Forever feeling dissatisfied however has started to feel burdensome. I realize that my longing for home when I’m on campus is actually a longing for the past, so that as I sit in my house I feel an urge to go out and seek intellectual growth - to explore, to contribute, to learn, to apply and be admitted- to keep moving up.

Is dissatisfaction a boon or a burden?

I have written this in an attempt to find an answer and to provide a context:

I got into a humanities-specialized high school with about 200 students/grade, but was not satisfied because I wanted to escape the writer in me and go to a science-based high school. I wanted to be in a big school with 500-600 students/grade.

By junior year I learned that the academics here were amazing and when I was about to leave in senior year I decided I wanted to stay and continue to walk in the hallways where my intellect flourished like never before. Walking amongst a close-knit student body, I had never been more convinced of the potency of a well-constructed work ethic and my duty to contribute to society.

I was not satisfied during my time there and was not satisfied with leaving.

Is dissatisfaction a boon or a burden?

I decided that it was a boon.

When I got into UPenn, my father remarked, “I hope you’re going to be happy with where you are now.”

                                 “Yes dad- it’s the Ivy League! How can I not be happy?”

I was satisfied…

until the very first day of New Student Orientation at Penn.

These past three years have been the worst and darkest years I have ever had and hopefully, will ever have.

To put it in a largely abridged manner: Some academic experiences have been amazing; Those that haven’t been, however, have occurred in a much greater proportion.

Dance has truly been the only light illuminating myself during the very dark times I have had at Penn. (I love you PennMasti. Really, I do.)

Once a shadow, I became a silhouette and everyday since, the silhouette slowly has become a well-contrasted and determinedly dissatisfied student.I was ready to fight and put a up a large resistance front to Upenn’s coercing into conforming.

From black-and-white to Eastman color, I emerged with a new major, a new minor, and a new and contemporary life plan.

Do you see how dissatisfaction was a boon? I certainly do.

As senior year now approaches, I am looking forward to walking down Locust Walk, eyes focused, brow furrowed - stressed but ever-knowing.

Of course I am still not satisfied. Would you be? Are you now?

Is dissatisfaction a boon or a burden? Is it both? If so, what is the ratio?

Until proven otherwise, I am and will forever be dissatisfied -

IV. A Hybrid was in our Midst? Who Knew? -

I am a hybrid.

I’m half-Spanish and half-Punjabi.

Upon appearance, I am only Punjabi.

In the interest of full disclosure, I would consider myself Indian, citizenship or not. The dominance of the culture, the language, and the history became infused within me early on. A curiosity and a couple of questions eventually gave way to a lifestyle.

My love for all things India-related, (and I just realized that tomorrow is India’s Independence Day… The irony of it all), probably started with Sikhism - a religion where tenets are preceded by identity.

(My love for India was mostly due to Sikhism and partially due to the fact that no can deny that I stood out among the Puerto Ricans on one side of the family, which can easily be seen as being an abnormality in a child’s eyes. Yet I seemed to fit in seamlessly among my Indian side of the family.)

I am also the type of person who likes to be different from others and to stand out in a contributory, original, and positive manner.

Upon contemplating over this boon/burden of a need to be unique, I have come to the realization that Sikhism has also acted a means of satisfying this need in addition to the aforementioned. I was only endowed with this realization about a year ago. About a year ago, I went to the Gurudwara, Sikh temple, near my house for the first time after its reconstruction and the first thing I noticed was a sign in the area where one takes off his/her shoes upon entering further.

It read in boldfaced print: Why fit in when you were born to stand out?

I suppose that’s why I sometimes get irritated when people don’t recognize me as a hybrid. It is a part of what makes me distinct.

Yes, this sounded a little contradictory to me as well.

After all, growing up I would play dress up with salwar kameez; I would put on my mom’s heavy Indian jewelry and experiment with ways to drape my dupatta, staring intensely back at myself in the mirror, and all the while feeling beautiful… a rare sentiment for this camera-phobe.

It may also seem contradictory because out of the 80 something songs on my ITunes, about five of them are Spanish and the rest are a mix of Hindi/Punjabi/Urdu.

It is not contradictory. After all, us humans are a paradoxical race. Our lives are bound to be complex.

Regardless, the hybrid that stands in your midst has a very different life specifically because of the fact that he/she is a hybrid.

You cannot deny who you are.

Like the hybrid autos, the exterior may look a certain way - it may look like it belongs to the Japanese or to the Germans, to the ritzy gas-guzzler class of cars or to the used-car lot -

But at the end of the day, the natural hybrid element will always be exposed because instead of having to make a trip to the gas station before work tomorrow, you can park your car that has been using electric power the entire day, go into your house, and not have to think about making a gas station trip for weeks after that very moment.

A baby is an investment.

A hybrid is an investment unlike any other -

III. The Human Paradox -

As humans we inevitably have paradoxical characteristics. Someone may have a shirt size that is in between an x-small and a small, or a shoes size between a 8.5 and 9. (Or maybe it was just that irate shoe salesman who was upset he wasn’t going to make a commission and blamed your lack of success in buying shoes on having one foot smaller than the other?)

That may have just happened to me.

Yesterday I saw a speed limit sign say “2 ½ M.P.H.”. (Who was that person who performed the trial-and-error test, driving enough times to know that the speed limit should specifically be between 2 and 3 miles per hour?)

Such experiences like these make us human, I suppose. We seem to rejoice when someone else has a similar paradox that characterizes their life because we feel a mutual human-ness.

My paradox: I’m an unsociable social-being.

I need to be around people when I study.

I can’t imagine living in an isolated suburb.

I love being in transit. In high school I completely immersed myself in the lulling of the NYC bus; I was leaving behind the school atmosphere and heading towards home. The in-between that the bus presented was not the in-between I currently feel as a senior who is not going straight into med-school. No- You see, I knew where my destination was and I was around people. I feel this same way when I’m heading to 30th Street Station, go downstairs to take the train, on my way home, and then step out onto the Penn Station platform

However, when presented with the option of a day out with friends or a day to myself, I would without even a scant amount of doubt, choose the latter. I would love to paint my toe nails (not my fingernails because they would get messed up within two seconds), listen to the songs I love but that I would not be caught hearing in public (I.e. Dhinka Chika), walk outside aimlessly at the pace of my desire, and not having to eat what ninety percent of normal people eat because it would throw off my calorie-count.

I never went out in high school - did anyone from THHS besides the “mean girls/juicy couture  all day err'day girls? I do go out in college but don’t go out perhaps as much as the majority. The truth is I am pretty conservative as it is and don’t particularly want to find myself around drunk people, also the majority.

"But so and so doesn’t drink and he/she has fun!”

Great. Jolly good for them but I could  care less.

I have never been to a club or lounge.

Honest to God though, I want to go. Someone take me!

I always pictured myself in college, studying yes, but I also always pictured myself in some sort of abercrombie-lit ambiance of a place with non-discernible music in the background and nodding my head with one hand in the air above it - my idea of a club.

If you’ve seen the beginning of No Reservations - I am Catherina Zeta Jones- walking with a slouchie hat, windblown dark curls framing a cold face, a long dark coat on, and walking. I am walking alone in the place I want to forever be - New York City. I am walking in the evening on the sidewalks that are at all times of day and night, patterned with store-lit fronts and constantly moving yellow reflections in the windows that occasionally stop to a shivering, restless, in-a-rush sort of person in the same reflection.

I walk alone and yet am surrounded by everyone - that’s my paradox. What’s yours?

IIA. "My once surfer flat stomach..." - The College Curse

College. Those T-shirts that have “COLLEGE” written across them disturb me. (Actually any t-shirt that has writing on it, a graphic tee, disturbs me.) I, a U.S. News & World Report Rankings groupie, find myself staring at the shirt in anticipation of it re-materializing into the name of the college where the person may/may not be attending. I get especially confused by the color combinations. White text on navy blue background and I think, “He/She must go to Yale….”

College is primarily a closed-off world where someone, somewhere is sitting down and studying. I am one of those students who prefer the main library on campus and while I can study with noise,can only study while being relatively immobile - that is to say, I usually have to sit down in front of a desk/table.

While growing up, this form of studying was not a threat. I never gained weight. Body fat was almost non-existent. Belly fat was a mythical idea only to become known by the commercials on T.V. (*No T.V. in college.)

I always had my mom’s cooking. Additionally I grew up with my brother and two cousins, basically three brothers, my uncles, and my dad, all of whom worked out daily. We had an exercise room that went from the basement to the backyard, complete with treadmill, a bench press, a weight-lifting contraption, among other items for which we became one of Modell’s/Sports Authority’s favorite customers.

Townsend Harris High School, google it, had a boot-camp like physical education curriculum that can rival any school in the country - (we already beat all you other NYC schools in that arena- fo’ sho’.) Lastly, dance topped the work-out regimen off like a cherry on a sundae, (a sundae that I never ate because it was too fattening)- dance provided that ladylike elegance to the overwhelmingly masculine-influenced exercises.

And with that, I had my surfer-flat stomach… Until College.

More specifically, this past year, junior year, of college.

Sure, there’s a gym on campus, but when is there time? Get dressed to go to gym, walk to gym (not that bad but every minute counts), work-out, walk back from gym, freshen up (whatever that encompasses), get dressed = LONG PROCESS.

I know that no one is looking at you when you work-out, (minus the awkward acquaintances that I seem to forever attract), but you can’t help but notice when someone has been sprinting effortlessly on the treadmill next to you for the past hour while you’re fighting with every fissure of your brain to keep up with them and not stop.

Let’s say I do get in my cardio work-out. Fine. I need to tone now. I need to take all that weight-lifting advice I’ve garnered over my lifetime and apply it. Till date, I have never been inside the weight room at the gym on campus. All I see are frat guys, jocks, people who workout in that special work-out gear; spandex sticking to their bodies, all discolored from sweat.

There is no clean surface on which to do my crunches. And so I leave, defeated, stuck in the limbo of calories burned where I can either tone up the muscles or continue on with my day, knowing that where I once burned calories, a layer of fat will form in the future despite my coffee -replacing -meals diet.

It’s just the college curse- at some point you must feel the transformation of muscle into fat with the trade-off of a decent grade on the next assignment.

Senior year is time for change from this cursed junior year and a return to the two years prior to that. Yes, I will attempt to go to the gym and the weight room.

But, I’m open for suggestions- all you college peeps, help a homefry out. Is there any easy way to usher myself in the off-limits weight room?

Until September 2011 - The College Curse shall be broken.

II. A Cynic's Explanation -

I had a Xanga. It was a thriving enterprise that lasted from seventh grade to the beginning of tenth grade - a long life of 4 years. That was six years ago.

The Xanga had a strong life. For one, it embraced the career choice (writing/journalism) that the entire universe had decided for me and that I had attempted to suppress. I ended up putting an end to the Xanga’s life, but not as an act of rebellion by a still aspiring surgeon (more on that ridiculousness later).

I’m sure some of you can relate to that fateful day when you decided to terminate your xanga. After the deed was done I double-checked to see that those accumulated entries of middle school ambition and high school achievements/traumas were eliminated by typing in the name of it in Google and clicking “Enter”. The search results were random sites of similar sounding tidbits and I suddenly felt the hollow void form in my once surfer flat stomach that was, ironically, already hollow.(Thank you Townsend Harris workouts/dance all day, err'day.)

The mourning period consisted of me writing in notebooks, diaries, to an audience of one - me. Though I did have sneaking suspicion that my mother had read some of it despite her denials until now. *Warning: I’m probably one of the most cynical people you will ever know.* Eventually I got over the whole situation.

Actually, no I didn’t- and that’s why you’re reading this right now. I was not over it.

Prior to this, in the past academic year, I took it out on members of an organization at UPenn by taking advantage of my status as “Secretary”. I realize now that my peers would be the unsuspecting victims of a long e-mail, expecting only two-three lines telling them when and where the meeting would take place, only to be face-to-face with an essay. Well, here are a short two words to make up for that: My bad.

I realize that most blogs are of people who travel to explore/study (valid reasons), or go on service trips to supposedly help out people in life-threatening conditions though they’re completely unqualified (not valid)- but everyone can make a difference…even a penny can make a difference, right?

Yay for cynicism!

Blogs also usually have photos taken at odd angles to make the norm seem indie/artsy/obscure/thoughtful.

Most if not all blogs tend to have a theme.

I don’t have a theme or a plan for this, but I do have an explanation. Though I would love to travel/explore, there are barriers, some understandable, some unfair, but it is what it is. I suppose study abroad was an option technically, (though I still don’t understand how my pre-med cronies are able to do so.) 

I am not going to be all abstract and profound when I say I do travel. You could say I travel light - no luggage.

My mind is a ridiculous traveler. I have an uncanny memory that enables me to travel in time and an unhealthy need to rid myself of all ignorance, enabling me to travel to places I’ve never been. Seriously, I could sit in front of  a wikipedia monitor screen all day, reading, clicking on a sub-link, repeat, shuffle, try to go back to the original page that I started out with and not be able to. Also, I could take a twenty minute subway ride and arrive face-to-face with the only microcosm of the world that exists - New York City yo.

I could write in a diary for my eyes only- the same eyes that saw my thoughts come to dwell upon paper, the same eyes that edit the entry in search of flaws (say they don’t exist, please!), and the same eyes that will fall upon them at some later time (the next day), and signal to my brain the need to rip out and crumble up the paper, (turns out there were flaws- oh snap).

Truth is I can travel vicariously through my words and there is a lot to say.

Holler at your homefry.

I. Introduction

If you were to go to Google, click on the more link located within the dark grey toolbar of the homepage, scroll down to Translate, then proceed to set the translator from English to Hindi, type in the adjective “silky” into the text box area afterwards, click on Translate on the right side of “Hindi”, and then click on the Listen button under the Hindi script, you will hear a lady’s birdlike voice chirp, “RAY- SH - ME.”

I often wondered why my parents chose “Reshmi” to be my name. In Hindi, Punjabi, and Urdu, “Reshmi” is commonly used to describe hair. I have dark hair - a black color that accentuates my west Punjabi ancestry and a dark brown color that gets lighter during the summer so that you can clearly distinguish the golden strands from the black ones. This hair is naturally curly and thus prone to being dry. Not surprisingly then, there are not many times when my hair is silky soft and uniform in texture.

With that said, whenever I was stressing about bad hair days or life in general within this past academic year, I would listen to old Hindi film songs. You could say it was a phase. Every time I studied, I would youtube a song I knew and then click on the suggested videos until after hearing enough songs, I would come to know which were my favorite. Most of the songs I favored were sung by Mohammed Rafi.

In full honesty, his song “Yeh Reshmi Zulfein” was what won me over. Hearing your name, pronounced correctly, and in song form no less is legit, yo -

Actually, a lot of the lyrics in his songs had “reshmi” in it…

Mohammed Rafi - fellow Punjabi that he was, I came to remember, is one of my father’s all-time favorite singers. How did that skip my mind?

Epiphany! My dad got my name from Mohammed Rafi’s songs!

No. No, he didn’t. According to my parents, they simply decided that it was a unique and pretty name for their baby girl- the only girl to carry the Oberoi surname till date.

I still don’t know how I feel about my name. I like the uniqueness of it, (even though I discovered a Pakistani TV sitcom “Reshmi” a few years back). I think the biggest concern with my name was the sound of it. To me, ironically, “Reshmi” does not sound very fluid or silky in nature. I do prefer it to the all too common “Reshma”, that’s for sure. However, I have a strong leaning toward “Resham” - that my friends, sounds pretty.

Whatever the reason for my name, I’m giving my name a definition and have been for twenty-one years, (wow- I sound so contemplatively old), and will continue to do so (and yet so contemplatively young).

Being Silky.